Weeks 13 & 14: Lows & Highs

I'm sure I've got the beginnings of a bump, but my brother says he'd need a microscope to see it.

A mixed week.

The lows:
- headaches
- massive gagging fit in McDonalds - to the extent where I was swallowing down my own vom cos I didn't want to spew everywhere
- strange sewer-like smell in the main bathroom
- ants in the kitchen. (They creep into the fridge and then promptly die of hypothermia)

The highs:
- all-day nausea has abated - which means I can get out and about.
- cooking my own comfort food
- getting my first bit of exercise in 3 months: pre-natal yoga. I got dizzy at the breathing opener and was absolutely knackered after. I'm in parlous physical condition. But it's a first step.

Week 12: Give us a wave!

The little legs wiggled away, the cheeky arms waved and the body flipped around. Here is our little one at 12 weeks and 7cm long! For those unfamiliar with scans, the baby's head is the ginormous blob on the right. It has a tubby little body with one arm raised, and one leg raised. White parts are the bony areas e.g. spine.

I had been feeling so miserable over the past few weeks and my feelings towards being pregnant were, frankly, ambiguous. But seeing the ultrasound and this little being jostling and twisting - well, as cliched as it is - the reality struck home and all the misery disappeared (at least for a couple of hours).

We actually wanted to check the risk of Downs Syndrome. So the terrific lady who did the scan was carefully taking minute measurements at the back of the baby's head (nuchal fold). It took a wonderful hour as we lapped up the footage. Fatt was quite moved by the experience.

According to the measurements, the estimated risk of Downs has been reduced from 1 in 200 (given my age of 35), to 1 in 600 (but with a 10-20% probability of these estimates being absolute poppycock). I'm not sure how I would feel if the stats had been different. Suffice to say, I'm pleased that I don't have to think about it.

The scan was fantastic, but a dampener on things was the ob-gyn experience once more. I'd made the appointment 2 weeks previously with a recommended doc who had already confirmed my age. We had to wait an hour to see him. One of the frustrating things you can hear from a nurse in a Thai hospital is something that sounds like 'sakoornikha' meaning 'please wait a moment' (I think). That really means please wait anything from5 minutes to an hour. You have to be very pushy to find out EXACTLY when will the doc be free? I wouldn't mind waiting if this was the NHS, but this is supposed to be one of the best private hospitals in Thailand.

At last we got to see the doc who immediately said, "Oh, you're 35. You shouldn't have the nuchal scan. You should have an amniocentesis." This is where they stick a big fat needle into your uterus and take out some of the amnio fluid to see for definite if there is anything wrong. Usually around 16 weeks. But isn't there a risk, I ventured? "Well, the risk of miscarriage is the same as the risk of having a Downs," he answered. And the risk is? 1 in 200. But I don't want to have a 1 in 200 risk of miscarriage just to find out if there is something wrong with my child.

"You don't need to decide now," he said. "Go do some research on the internet and then decide." Frigging hell. I felt like screaming at him: Aren't you the doctor? I have to do the research?

"So why did we come today?" Fatt asked rather pointedly. The doctor almost shrugged. "You can still have an ultrascan to see the baby."

This is how these hospitals like to leech money from you - have yet another ultrascan!!

I decided to follow the UK way: I wanted a Nuchal scan plus a blood test for further accuracy. Fudge the amniocentesis.

After the scan, further unimpressiveness abounded when we asked about other blood tests e.g. for blood count. The doc had gone home, a sour-faced nurse told us. No, she didn't know about these other blood tests. So we told her which ones we wanted. Ten minutes later she said, "But you're also supposed have X, Y and Z tested for too." All of a sudden she knew.

OK, one more bout of unimpresiveness and I promise I won't grumble anymore (at least not in this week). The doc had recommended some tablets for my bad wind. When I checked with a pharmacist, he said that they shouldn't be given to pregnant women....

The important thing is the baby is doing just fine and dandy so far. Cheeky little monkey.

We've moved into our new apartment. Let's hope this all marks a turn for the better in the second trimester.

Week 11: BAMBI

There's a pregnant women's / mothers group for foreigners here called BAMBI. It's an acronym to do with breastfeeding and mothers in Bangkok or something.

Anyhow, they hold a 'bumps and babies' meeting every fortnight, usually with a guest speaker. I'm a bit wary of these kinds of groups... I'm not sure if I want to hang around horsey expat women who complain about their maids all the time.

But thankfully, it wasn't like that at all. On stumbling into the meeting room, a speaker was valiantly trying to get the audience's attention while babies wailed, kids screamed, toys played their ditties and mothers breast-fed. It was refreshingly chaotic, and people were very friendly and ready to recount their experiences and give advice. The support network's been a bit lacking without my friends & family around me here, so it was great to meet other women in the same situation.

The guest speaker was cack though. Talked for ages about how to identify stress but didn't tell you how to deal with it. Instead he left his business cards in case people would like to pay for one-to-one sessions.

Besides BAMBI, the other highlight of the week was re-visiting our old condo. They have a vacant apartment and we think we're going to take it. I felt better immediately breathing in the fresher (relatively speaking) air. Otherwise, the morning sickness has been just about the same.

Week 10: Irregular

If poo makes you spew, then don't read!

Additional morning sickness symptom:

- constipation

I hate not being regular - something ingrained into me since childhood. Pregnancy can mean your bowel muscles don't work as strongly, leading to some, er, blockage.

So when I missed a day, I took some Senna which certainly did the trick. And then some. I was sat on the bog, completely drained as my bowels got to work. Almost semi-fainting and extremely uncomfortable, the whole Senna experience totally knackered me for the rest of the day.

I shall just have to accept the irregularities now. And drink more water.

I also went to see a few flats with an agent. We really need to get out of this shithole (continuing the poo theme) asap. I don't know how long I can stand it. Unfortunately, none of the flats I saw were a patch on the condo we used to live in a year ago, plus, they were decidedly more expensive.

Towards the end of the visits I was feeling decidedly ropey, and it was with much relief on the agent's part that he dropped me off without me vomiting in his nice car.

Week 9: funny turns

The morning sickness symptoms continue and are now accompanied by:

- fainting & dizzy spells
- piles (I think)

Not pleasant.

Fatt restarted work at his old company after almost a year away. We're hoping his bad neck holds out, or we may have to reconsider staying in Bangkok.

The day he started work, I went to lunch at Au Bon Pain at a nearby building. As I bit into my tuna sandwich, I suddenly felt very hot, very sweaty, then all of a sudden very cold and dizzy and faint - just like when you know you have impending diarrhoea and need the toilet now.

Except it wasn't that, but almost a panic attack with my heart racing and trying to keep calm and hoping that I wasn't making a fool of myself, but please, could somebody help me?

One of the waitresses asked if I was OK. No! I told her I was pregnant and not feeling good. She provided me with some kind of menthol inhaler, and this amazingly helped to calm me down.

I still had to stay there about one and a half hours before I felt ready to leave. Immediately bought one of those inhaler things to sniff as I walked the densely polluted road back to the service apartment.

I'm not sure what brought on the panic attack. If it's the baby saying, "You're bloody well not eating this!", or just a psychological trigger of being by myself, with husband nowhere nearby. I don't know, but it was scary and makes me quite hesitant about going out alone.

Week 8 (and 9 and 10 and 11 and...): Morning sickness symptons:

- all day nausea
- gagging induced by smells (Thai food, pollution, strong cleaning fluids)
- occasional vomiting
- sensitive nose
- headaches
- excess saliva
- very bad wind

I've spoken to a pal who gave birth recently and a pal who is now pregnant and they said they didn't have ANY symptoms. Life is not fair.

But it's not as bad as my sister-in-law - vomiting has become almost an automatic reflex, poor soul.

I know though, of course, I'm very lucky to be pregnant at all - I could easily have had trouble conceiving, especially given my age (35). So, I do thank God for that. But whoever said women 'bloom' in pregnancy needs a good kick up the ass.

Week 7: Hong Kong Heaven

OK, been a while, but now I'm back!

I forgot to mention that the doc in Bangkok wanted me to have a 4D scan the following week. I was by myself, not thinking straight, thought: fine. My husband gave me a serious lecture on this later: why would I need yet another scan? Hadn't I asked? In his mother's day they'd been no such things as ultrascans, so why did I need one? He's very au fait with the workings of private hospitals in Thailand: nice medical care, bleed you for whatever you've got.

But he's right. A 4D scan (i.e. 3D with the fourth dimension being 'time') would probably set us back at least 100 quid. I'm not sure they're offered on the NHS and you may have to go private. So it's probably cheap in comparison. But at 7 weeks??? At 6 weeks you can just about make a blob (see pic below). So what would 7 weeks show? A slightly bigger 3D blob no doubt.

Anyhow, this week we went to Hong Kong. It was BLISS!! I could actually breathe the air without puking up on sickening fumes / food /sewage smells. And it was so much cooler. Felt much chirpier and energetic.

Did a lot of clothes shopping - a tad unwisely given my belly will be huge in a few months and maybe I won't regain my shape. Also bought some bras from M&S. In Bangkok, bras are Asian sizes and only go up to Asian size (i.e. smaller than UK) 36C. There is a M&S but prices are at least double the UK. So HK M&S was great. I asked to be measured. The measuring lady said 34B. Bullshit! I was a UK 34B before. Boobs have definitely grown expanded. I bought a 34C (non-Asian).

Also met up with old friends, one of whom was 7 months pregnant. She looked great with a marvellously compact round belly.

Still bleeding, though v. brownish and not much.

Back in Bangkok though and the nausea / gagging returned with a vengeance. Mum had sent some Chinese medicine over to help 'keep the pregnancy'. Together with the pessaries I suffered tremendous headaches. Mum said maybe I had a bit too much 'yang' (as opposed to 'yin').