Week 23: Three kilos in one month

Went for another checkup - the doc saw me for about 5 minutes. I'm 53.5 kg now. "That's just about right," said the doc. "You mean I should be putting on more weight?" "Er, no."

Oops. Seems I've really been stuffing my face. I ate a lot in HK, granted. I eat a lot of fruit, and I cook dinners. I've completely ignored my highish cholesterol and eat quite a variety. I do have a daily habit of crisps at 5pm but I don't eat chocolate or sweets - mainly cos I feel funny after and the baby goes a bit beserk.

Waist measures 35 and a half inches. And I bought 36D bras at Tesco Lotus the other day. There's more cellulite on my thighs and I daren't look at my bum.

We bought a cot - our first big purchase for the baby. It comes with lots of blue-white bedding - far too nice for a baby to poo and puke on!


Weird dream no. 4:
oooh, this was the real Alien one. In the original Alien film, the baby alien bursts out of John Hurt's stomach. It's all gnashing bared teeth and eyeless head. It has a good hissing fit as it looks around before scampering off into the metalwork.
So in my dream, this baby alien is pushing through my stomach. My belly skin is stretched over it, so you can see the outline of its head and jaws trying to burst out of me. I have to keep pushing it back into my tummy, telling it to behave....

Flat whinge no. 645:
The floor in the main bedroom has started warping again. I say again - it was warped before we moved in 2 months ago and the problem was 'fixed', i.e. the cracks were papered over but the underlying problem, whatever it is, remains. Our ex-neighbours said that the previous tenants also had the same problem over a year ago, so this is nothing new to the landlord or the management.
The ensuite bathroom also smells peculiar - a dampish rotten smell. I am sure there is some connection.
Early this week, they finally dug the floor up - each clang of the chisel causing the baby to jump in alarm in my belly - to find a pasty, moist, concrete, gluey mess underneath. Yuk. Since then, I've had the manager Khun P. come in almost every day with a different 'guru' who hasn't a clue what the problem is.
Wait till you see how long this takes to sort out...

Week 22: Twinkle twinkle little star

Been having some really weird baby dreams.

1) A friend and I are pregnant at the same time. We're both giving birth (in record time) in the same room. She has a girl and I have a boy, but I'm absolutely certain the hospital's mixed the babies up and in fact the girl is MINE.
Now I feel guilty towards my baby boy.

2) I'm pretty advanced in pregnancy and the baby is pushing aggressively out of my belly so you can see the contours of his hands and feet through my skin. Alien anybody?
Well, the baby is in real life having stronger movements, usually at 6 am.

I went to another BAMBI session. This midwife was giving tips on baby calming. She said that new fathers suddenly work 30% harder at the office in the first few weeks after a baby is born! Like it's either bringing home the bacon, or rather, the whole lifestyle change becomes a bit too much.

At one point during the meeting, the babies were getting cranky and weepy. The midwife said it was because they weren't getting our attention so we should all give them some by singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. The effect was astounding - all the babies spontaneously quietened down! Nice trick!

Fatt and I ventured into a BAMBI bring and buy sale. Apparently people are queuing and straining at the entrance an hour before it all starts. Baby stuff is pricey here - we're talking imports with 300% tax as they're classed as luxury items. So something like Mothercare which is good quality and reasonably priced in the UK, becomes the epitome of lavish spending here. We got there late and didn't really find anything to buy, but Fatt enjoyed the kiddie mayhem and got even more clucky at lunchtime as we watched a be-fringed Japanese toddler carefully bending over her rice bowl and spooning the contents into her mouth. Japanese kids are soooo cute.

Week 21: Strictly drawstring

The big news this week is that my brother and his wife will also have a boy! Like us, they couldn't wait to find out the sex of the baby. I'm pretty sure our due dates will be very close. Almost like twins! It'll be weird comparing the lives of two half-Chinese boys living on different parts of the globe. I hope they'll become firm and fast friends.

I've been feeling pretty good. The 2nd trimester is definitely the best time of pregnancy. Although... I obviously just look rather podgy. Nobody gives up their seat for me on the skytrain. My thighs are getting big. It's hard to fit into my pants. As for trousers - forget it. Strictly drawstring or elastic now!

I'm investigating having both my mum and my dad come over for the birth. My mum will obviously be a mega-help and comfort to me. My dad had a stroke last year and needs quite some looking after himself. But if he can make this trip, while he'll need help getting over here etc., I think it'll be a big boost to his self-confidence and to his state-of-mind.

And I'm keen that the little one knows his family right from the start. When I see my niece in London and all the love and attention and care she gets from both sides of the family, it makes me feel a little sad that our baby won't have that extended blessing unless we move back to the UK...

Week 20: Hong Kong Heaven again!

A lot happened this week:

Old friends
We met up with our old neighbours who have now moved to Singapore. They have a sweet baby boy. The wife, who is Indonesian, said that I should definitely go for a C-section as it was 'wonderful'.
Of course there are advantages to a C-section: avoiding a long painful labour, choosing a convenient time, not having your nether regions widened to a six-lane motorway and torn, cut, stitched.... but this is major surgery!

Hong Kong
It was marvellous to be back. Morning sickness had passed. The best thing was seeing old friends and cadging loads of freebie meals from them as a celebration of my bumptious state. It seemed I gained 2 kilos in the few days we were there.
Plus we were holed up in the Conrad. And I could shop at H&M's maternity section for cheapie trousers.
One of the best things was that I managed to catch the last day of my granddad's film exhibition. He was a famous director in Hong Kong, but to my shame, I haven't seen many of his flicks. Going to this cozy exhibition was fantastic - loads of people were there and the screenings had all sold out. Made me realise just how influential he'd been on HK/Taiwanese/Chinese cinema.

Gina Fording it
I saw another old friend in HK who'd just given birth. The mother is highly organised and was determined to do the Gina Ford method of getting the baby to sleep through the night. We're talking excel spreadsheets here!
The baby was very sweet. Only 3 weeks old but HUGE! The mother had had a C-section and been knocked out for it so one minute she had this big belly, the next, a baby had popped out.

The help
Hurray! The new maid started today. She is tiny, my age and burst in like an over-active mouse, eager to explore the apartment. She did a good job, so hopefully the start of a good working relationship. It's bliss not having to do the housework.
The maid asked if I was 6 months pregnant. I'm only four!

The baby
moves more when I eat sweet things. I sneezed in the middle of the night and he wriggled like crazy!
I had a very scary moment in HK though. We were trying to catch the Airport Express and went down the wrong escalator. Stupidly, I followed Fatt as he scampered up the escalator, and inevitably, I tripped. I fell on my side with my hand breaking my fall. I was OK, but upset. Full of shame, guilt and disbelief. We couldn't believe how stupid we'd been! How could we have put the baby at such risk?
I kept prodding my belly to see if he was okay. Didn't seem to be any response. Then, about an hour later, he started squirming away again. Thank God.
I love feeling him move inside of me. It's amazing. He tickles me with his twisting and turning, kicking and pummelling. Makes me laugh and feel happy.

Week 19: It's a ...........

....... boy!

No surprise really given Fatt's three younger brothers. Plus my Dad predicted it would be a boy (on a hunch) and my Mum predicted it would be a boy by asking about my pulse...

I think Fatt is a little disappointed. I'm making a huge generalisation here, but girls do tend to be a bit more caring towards their families their boys. But I don't care if it's a boy or a girl so long as he/she is healthy and happy.

So we switched hospitals and I chose a doc who'd learnt all his stuff in London. The hospital was seemingly chaotic and manic - people rushing here and there. The other one we'd been to was much calmer. On the other hand, this hospital made sure I saw the doc within 10 minutes. At the other one it was usually anything from 20 minutes to an hour.

This doc was great though - very frank, straightforward. None of the 'look it up on the internet' malarkey, or 'take a 4D scan at 7 weeks' rubbish. He did have an emergency to attend to though and so we checked out the birthing facilities.

There's only one natural birth unit. We asked what would happen if it was busy. The nurse looked puzzled and said it wouldn't be. This hospital, note, has a 70% C-section rate. Of course many of those are elective though.

We also passed a room full of tiny newborns with thatches of thick dark hair, swaddled tightly in a row of transparent cribs. They slept, yawned and mewed behind the silent glass. Awesome.

The doc did my '20-week' ultrasound. I'm officially 19 weeks but head and body measurements were coming up 21 weeks! I blame the big head on Fatt. When he checked the nether regions, "It's definitely a boy," he said.

As a freebie, he threw in about 20 seconds of 4D footage - where you get to see the baby in 3D plus movement i.e. video. At first it was hard to make out anything, but I gave my belly a gentle poke and that set the little blighter going. He started squirming and then banging his fists against me, as if to say 'get me out of here!'

It was a fantastic experience and I feel much more at ease to find a doc I can relate to.

Week 18: tap tap tap...

... is anybody there?

I've been feeling some pulsing movements quite low down my belly. Random taps here and there. Is it the baby? Usually first-timers feel these movements around 20 weeks, but if you're quite thin, then it can be earlier. My brother says it's the baby. They can already feel their's.

Yep, it's the baby. Fatt put his hand on my belly and the baby went kick/punch. It's quite an amazing experience, feeling this little entity fluttering around inside of you.

Another aspect of pregnancy: horrible dreams. I dreamt I was bleeding a lot down there and knew I desperately needed to get to a hospital. It was a relief to wake up.

Waist (though it doesn't look like I have any): 29 and a half inches.
Belly around the biggest part: 34 inches.

Week 17: RIP Tiny

The vet called to say Tiny had passed away in the night. She'd had a potter around in her cage, and then just went back in and laid down...

We're both very upset at this. I wonder if pregnancy hormones are making me more emotional, but I don't think so. She was a lovely dog, so sweet and affectionate. Can't believe that she's gone. Was it inevitable? Did we provoke it by taking her in or should we have left her on the streets? Were the antibiotics all too much? Hard to tell.

In Bhutan, they won't kill stray dogs because they believe that when a person dies, they are shown the way to heaven by a doggy with a light on its tail. Well, if we ever get to heaven, let's hope Tiny will be our doggy.

On other matters, the earth moved - literally! An earthquake in Laos caused tall buildings in Bangkok to shudder. I wasn't sure at first until Fatt phoned to tell me to get the hell out of the condo. Outside, the peaceful soi life continued: kids cycled on tricycles, students strolled and munched their noodles, the motorbike taxis zoomed with their passengers. I don't think they realised that a 6.2 earthquake had occurred in a neighbouring country.

On the pregnancy front, I'm feeling a bit fatter. The other day, this taxi driver dropped me off and ran to the passenger door to let me out. And where I teach, one of me ex-students said I was getting chubby. It's supposed to be a compliment by the way...

Week 16: Operation Tiny

This is Tiny. She's a small soi dog living on the polluted mayhem of Rama IV road, near our old serviced apartment. When we first met her, we had a load of barbecued chicken we wanted to get rid of. She was so skinny - most definitely the best soi dog candidate. She ate the lot very daintily. Then Fatt started feeding her almost every evening. Sometimes she would eat ravenously, other times she wouldn't have the appetite but would look in our eyes and lick our hands in sweet affection.

Fatt took her to the vet because we thought she might have worms. While pretty active, she wasn't putting on weight. The vet said it may be worms, but more likely a very bad kidney with readings way off the chart. The vet wondered how Tiny could still be alive.

It's been about 3 weeks since we moved away. Fatt still went to see her about once a week and then he asked me to let her move in. She had no energy, could barely wag her tail and was now super-skinny. He thought she might die very soon.

While not over-keen to have a sick/dying dog on the premises, I agreed. So Fatt put her in a cardboard box, grabbed a taxi and made it over to our flat. She emerged, shaky and holocaust-thin, wary of her surroundings. Fatt gave her a good scrub.

As he had to work during the day, I was left to 'look after' Tiny. She wouldn't eat and hardly drank any water. She is still the sweetest dog, but very stubborn - won't be led by a lead. While still able to wag her tail, in general she's lacklustre, completely without energy.

I feel sorry for her, but have to balance that with needing to make sure I'm notgoing to catch anything which could harm the baby. I'm not a natural with dogs. I began to read experiences of tick infestations of the home and got very paranoid about her. At the same time, I'm sure she's not happy to be cooped up indoors.

But I still have to remember her lovely nature and the hard life she must have had so far.

On the weekend, Fatt took her to the vets. They're keeping her overnight on a drip. Hopefully she'll be OK...

Week 15: Fatt's fads

The weather has cooled a bit - it's bliss.

Fatt is currently going through a fad: home improvements. He's determined to stay at our new apartment for a good while and make it our own. Hence off to every home improvement store he can think of, plus, he's discovered Chatachuk Market has some great deals on beautiful furniture.

Some would call this the provider or nesting instinct. But I'm pretty sure it's one of his fads and it will pass very soon - certainly sooner than thinking about the baby room.

I can't fit into one of my favourite pair of trousers. And I definitely don't need a belt anymore.

At the Bambi meet today, a lady was demonstrating baby massage. So there were all these babies sprawled on the floor being gently pummelled by their mums. Very cute......

Weeks 13 & 14: Lows & Highs

I'm sure I've got the beginnings of a bump, but my brother says he'd need a microscope to see it.

A mixed week.

The lows:
- headaches
- massive gagging fit in McDonalds - to the extent where I was swallowing down my own vom cos I didn't want to spew everywhere
- strange sewer-like smell in the main bathroom
- ants in the kitchen. (They creep into the fridge and then promptly die of hypothermia)

The highs:
- all-day nausea has abated - which means I can get out and about.
- cooking my own comfort food
- getting my first bit of exercise in 3 months: pre-natal yoga. I got dizzy at the breathing opener and was absolutely knackered after. I'm in parlous physical condition. But it's a first step.

Week 12: Give us a wave!

The little legs wiggled away, the cheeky arms waved and the body flipped around. Here is our little one at 12 weeks and 7cm long! For those unfamiliar with scans, the baby's head is the ginormous blob on the right. It has a tubby little body with one arm raised, and one leg raised. White parts are the bony areas e.g. spine.

I had been feeling so miserable over the past few weeks and my feelings towards being pregnant were, frankly, ambiguous. But seeing the ultrasound and this little being jostling and twisting - well, as cliched as it is - the reality struck home and all the misery disappeared (at least for a couple of hours).

We actually wanted to check the risk of Downs Syndrome. So the terrific lady who did the scan was carefully taking minute measurements at the back of the baby's head (nuchal fold). It took a wonderful hour as we lapped up the footage. Fatt was quite moved by the experience.

According to the measurements, the estimated risk of Downs has been reduced from 1 in 200 (given my age of 35), to 1 in 600 (but with a 10-20% probability of these estimates being absolute poppycock). I'm not sure how I would feel if the stats had been different. Suffice to say, I'm pleased that I don't have to think about it.

The scan was fantastic, but a dampener on things was the ob-gyn experience once more. I'd made the appointment 2 weeks previously with a recommended doc who had already confirmed my age. We had to wait an hour to see him. One of the frustrating things you can hear from a nurse in a Thai hospital is something that sounds like 'sakoornikha' meaning 'please wait a moment' (I think). That really means please wait anything from5 minutes to an hour. You have to be very pushy to find out EXACTLY when will the doc be free? I wouldn't mind waiting if this was the NHS, but this is supposed to be one of the best private hospitals in Thailand.

At last we got to see the doc who immediately said, "Oh, you're 35. You shouldn't have the nuchal scan. You should have an amniocentesis." This is where they stick a big fat needle into your uterus and take out some of the amnio fluid to see for definite if there is anything wrong. Usually around 16 weeks. But isn't there a risk, I ventured? "Well, the risk of miscarriage is the same as the risk of having a Downs," he answered. And the risk is? 1 in 200. But I don't want to have a 1 in 200 risk of miscarriage just to find out if there is something wrong with my child.

"You don't need to decide now," he said. "Go do some research on the internet and then decide." Frigging hell. I felt like screaming at him: Aren't you the doctor? I have to do the research?

"So why did we come today?" Fatt asked rather pointedly. The doctor almost shrugged. "You can still have an ultrascan to see the baby."

This is how these hospitals like to leech money from you - have yet another ultrascan!!

I decided to follow the UK way: I wanted a Nuchal scan plus a blood test for further accuracy. Fudge the amniocentesis.

After the scan, further unimpressiveness abounded when we asked about other blood tests e.g. for blood count. The doc had gone home, a sour-faced nurse told us. No, she didn't know about these other blood tests. So we told her which ones we wanted. Ten minutes later she said, "But you're also supposed have X, Y and Z tested for too." All of a sudden she knew.

OK, one more bout of unimpresiveness and I promise I won't grumble anymore (at least not in this week). The doc had recommended some tablets for my bad wind. When I checked with a pharmacist, he said that they shouldn't be given to pregnant women....

The important thing is the baby is doing just fine and dandy so far. Cheeky little monkey.

We've moved into our new apartment. Let's hope this all marks a turn for the better in the second trimester.

Week 11: BAMBI

There's a pregnant women's / mothers group for foreigners here called BAMBI. It's an acronym to do with breastfeeding and mothers in Bangkok or something.

Anyhow, they hold a 'bumps and babies' meeting every fortnight, usually with a guest speaker. I'm a bit wary of these kinds of groups... I'm not sure if I want to hang around horsey expat women who complain about their maids all the time.

But thankfully, it wasn't like that at all. On stumbling into the meeting room, a speaker was valiantly trying to get the audience's attention while babies wailed, kids screamed, toys played their ditties and mothers breast-fed. It was refreshingly chaotic, and people were very friendly and ready to recount their experiences and give advice. The support network's been a bit lacking without my friends & family around me here, so it was great to meet other women in the same situation.

The guest speaker was cack though. Talked for ages about how to identify stress but didn't tell you how to deal with it. Instead he left his business cards in case people would like to pay for one-to-one sessions.

Besides BAMBI, the other highlight of the week was re-visiting our old condo. They have a vacant apartment and we think we're going to take it. I felt better immediately breathing in the fresher (relatively speaking) air. Otherwise, the morning sickness has been just about the same.

Week 10: Irregular

If poo makes you spew, then don't read!

Additional morning sickness symptom:

- constipation

I hate not being regular - something ingrained into me since childhood. Pregnancy can mean your bowel muscles don't work as strongly, leading to some, er, blockage.

So when I missed a day, I took some Senna which certainly did the trick. And then some. I was sat on the bog, completely drained as my bowels got to work. Almost semi-fainting and extremely uncomfortable, the whole Senna experience totally knackered me for the rest of the day.

I shall just have to accept the irregularities now. And drink more water.

I also went to see a few flats with an agent. We really need to get out of this shithole (continuing the poo theme) asap. I don't know how long I can stand it. Unfortunately, none of the flats I saw were a patch on the condo we used to live in a year ago, plus, they were decidedly more expensive.

Towards the end of the visits I was feeling decidedly ropey, and it was with much relief on the agent's part that he dropped me off without me vomiting in his nice car.

Week 9: funny turns

The morning sickness symptoms continue and are now accompanied by:

- fainting & dizzy spells
- piles (I think)

Not pleasant.

Fatt restarted work at his old company after almost a year away. We're hoping his bad neck holds out, or we may have to reconsider staying in Bangkok.

The day he started work, I went to lunch at Au Bon Pain at a nearby building. As I bit into my tuna sandwich, I suddenly felt very hot, very sweaty, then all of a sudden very cold and dizzy and faint - just like when you know you have impending diarrhoea and need the toilet now.

Except it wasn't that, but almost a panic attack with my heart racing and trying to keep calm and hoping that I wasn't making a fool of myself, but please, could somebody help me?

One of the waitresses asked if I was OK. No! I told her I was pregnant and not feeling good. She provided me with some kind of menthol inhaler, and this amazingly helped to calm me down.

I still had to stay there about one and a half hours before I felt ready to leave. Immediately bought one of those inhaler things to sniff as I walked the densely polluted road back to the service apartment.

I'm not sure what brought on the panic attack. If it's the baby saying, "You're bloody well not eating this!", or just a psychological trigger of being by myself, with husband nowhere nearby. I don't know, but it was scary and makes me quite hesitant about going out alone.

Week 8 (and 9 and 10 and 11 and...): Morning sickness symptons:

- all day nausea
- gagging induced by smells (Thai food, pollution, strong cleaning fluids)
- occasional vomiting
- sensitive nose
- headaches
- excess saliva
- very bad wind

I've spoken to a pal who gave birth recently and a pal who is now pregnant and they said they didn't have ANY symptoms. Life is not fair.

But it's not as bad as my sister-in-law - vomiting has become almost an automatic reflex, poor soul.

I know though, of course, I'm very lucky to be pregnant at all - I could easily have had trouble conceiving, especially given my age (35). So, I do thank God for that. But whoever said women 'bloom' in pregnancy needs a good kick up the ass.

Week 7: Hong Kong Heaven

OK, been a while, but now I'm back!

I forgot to mention that the doc in Bangkok wanted me to have a 4D scan the following week. I was by myself, not thinking straight, thought: fine. My husband gave me a serious lecture on this later: why would I need yet another scan? Hadn't I asked? In his mother's day they'd been no such things as ultrascans, so why did I need one? He's very au fait with the workings of private hospitals in Thailand: nice medical care, bleed you for whatever you've got.

But he's right. A 4D scan (i.e. 3D with the fourth dimension being 'time') would probably set us back at least 100 quid. I'm not sure they're offered on the NHS and you may have to go private. So it's probably cheap in comparison. But at 7 weeks??? At 6 weeks you can just about make a blob (see pic below). So what would 7 weeks show? A slightly bigger 3D blob no doubt.

Anyhow, this week we went to Hong Kong. It was BLISS!! I could actually breathe the air without puking up on sickening fumes / food /sewage smells. And it was so much cooler. Felt much chirpier and energetic.

Did a lot of clothes shopping - a tad unwisely given my belly will be huge in a few months and maybe I won't regain my shape. Also bought some bras from M&S. In Bangkok, bras are Asian sizes and only go up to Asian size (i.e. smaller than UK) 36C. There is a M&S but prices are at least double the UK. So HK M&S was great. I asked to be measured. The measuring lady said 34B. Bullshit! I was a UK 34B before. Boobs have definitely grown expanded. I bought a 34C (non-Asian).

Also met up with old friends, one of whom was 7 months pregnant. She looked great with a marvellously compact round belly.

Still bleeding, though v. brownish and not much.

Back in Bangkok though and the nausea / gagging returned with a vengeance. Mum had sent some Chinese medicine over to help 'keep the pregnancy'. Together with the pessaries I suffered tremendous headaches. Mum said maybe I had a bit too much 'yang' (as opposed to 'yin').

testing

Week 6: the little mite

Morning sickness is a double-edged sword. Feeling run-down and crap but knowing that at least there are enough hormones raging inside you to hopefully make the pregnancy secure, versus the potential worry of no symptons whatsoever.

Nausea galore this week! Not helped by that disgusting butter chicken which subsequently gave me diarrhoea and made me puke up. Keep retching. Can't stand the thought of Thai food, or even Chinese food. Only western or the plainest of Japanese dishes.

I'm knackered, no two ways about it. Tired all day. I stopped taking the progesterone tablets - well I was still bleeding so they weren't exactly helping, were they?

I did manage to do some volunteer teaching on Wednesday. Actually didn't feel too bad. So I wonder if staying in bed and feeling very sorry for myself isn't just making me feel worse?

Also had a tremendous headache one night. I went to the hospital again and saw a different doctor. Actually this female doctor is one that husband and I saw a year or so ago. We wanted to ask questions about fertility in women over 35. At the time she must have thought we were a little weird as we were just asking questions, not actually prepared to take any action.

Anyhow, she gave me another scan, and the good news is that we could see the tiny foetus and his little heart was pumping away. That was amazing.

She gave me some more progesterone but this to be inserted as a pessary. Apparently a lot more effective than orally. So I put one in and it seemed to work initially. But the reality was that it only seemed to 'plug' the bleeding. Sorry to be so explicit.

Also been navigating some of the many forums on pregnancies. They are simultaneously heartening (when women have the same symptons as you) and heartbreaking - the number of miscarriages is quite scary.

The other great piece of news: my brother and his wife will also be expecting and she's due around the same date as me! Little cousins almost like twins! Me and my brother must be telepathic. All his news can be found on his blog here.

Week 5: It's official!

After a bout of tummy ache, and then a spot of bleeding, it was decided to get myself checked out at the hospital. For convenience, we went to Samitivej - one of the best and most pricey hoppys around. I saw a kindly old lady doctor who had a quick look and did not see much amiss.

She gave me a scan (not by the tummy) and we could see this black blob in a round circle which she explained was the gestational sac in the uterus. All looked fine. She prescribed some progesterone pills for me "to stop the bleeding".

It was such early days, but we decided to tell our parents. First, my mum and dad. On the phone there was a loud squeal from my mum, and my dad had to rest in some happy daze from the good news. And then came mummy's advice: no stretching or lifting - very bad for Chinese pregnant women. No exercise. Stay in bed and rest.

Fine by me! Matt's mum's advice was completely the opposite. "Just enjoy it," she said.

We've sworn the parents to secrecy. I don't want to tempt fate.

Since taking the progesterone pills though, I've been feeling nauseous. Tired, sick, queasy, yukky. That's a real downer as I was fine before that.

Not sure why, but for some reason, I went to Carrefour intending to get myself a spag bol meal, and came back with Indian butter chicken. It was disgusting. I gag even when I think about it now.

Week 1-4: The faint purple line

My husband has never been keen on babies. With 3 younger brothers, his childhood is traumatised by the stench of nappies and baby poo.

And you can't exactly travel around with a baby, can you?

But a number of factors made us think seriously about settling down. My dad having a stroke for instance made us realise how important families are. Husband suffering chronic neck/back pain made us think about our long term health. Me hitting 35 this year is also a timebomb ticking...

We thought we'd have a go, see how it went. I didn't expect to get pregnant in our second month of trying though!! Husband was a bit disappointed at that :) Mind you, he was on enough painkiller / muscle relaxants to open his own pharmacy. This baby will probably have 3 heads.

I confess, I did use a bit of temperature charting to see when I'd be ovulating. Mum gave me these sheets and a thermometer and I just plotted some readings down. It was quite interesting in the first month to see how my temperature dropped when my period came. Even more astonishing to see my temperature maintain a highish 36.8 degrees Celsius past my due date in the second month and no sign of my period.

Anyhow, on 17th February 2007, I took a pregnancy test, and the faint purple line - like the man from Del Monte - said 'yes!'. Husband and I didn't know quite how to react. I was suddenly raiding the internet for information:
- 20% or pregnancies end in miscarriage: shit, don't get too excited yet.
- the probability of a Down's syndrome birth increases very much if the mum is over 35: what would we do?
- shouldn't eat raw fish: there goes my sushi.
- I'd be due 23 October 2007. I'm a premature baby, husband was 2 weeks late - reckon that's about right.

Subdued excitement. That's what we feel.

Introduction

I'm nearly 9 weeks pregnant.
God willing it will go well.
This baby is planned and very much wanted.

But I feel the need to vent. I think I'm going insane from morning sickness in this stinking, putrified, polluted city.

(I do love Bangkok really!)